What’s In A Name?: Why We Named Our Miscarried Baby

One of the first things hubby and I decided to do after we lost our little one was to give him/her a name. I’m not going to lie, it felt weird at first…naming someone who never lived a day on this Earth. Nobody ever said this but I feel to most other people who knew we were expecting, our baby was still hypothetical. Something that was supposed to happen, but never did. Somewhat of a theory or abstract concept maybe, but not a real being to be named. Furthermore, we never found out what sex our baby was. The appointment that was originally scheduled for blood work to determine sex ended up being the follow up appointment after we found out we were miscarrying. We never knew if we were having a boy or a girl. So yes, initially I felt weird naming our angel baby.

But the fact is, my baby was real, and though we will never know with certainty what the sex was, hubby & I believe it was a boy.  I heard his beating heart. Saw his little nose. He had fingers, toes, arms and legs. He had a brain that controlled his developing lungs, muscles, and other organs. And above all of this, he had a soul; a soul that is unique to him and him only. He was a person. A little person, but a real person nonetheless.

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We picked the name August. I was due to give birth in the month of August so it felt like a cool way to commemorate that. We also felt it was gender neutral, in case we were wrong about him being a boy 🙂

To us, naming August after the miscarriage was important because

  • It was a way for us to honor and commemorate his short life, though it was lived entirely inside my womb. Giving him a name felt like we were giving him an identity other than “the baby I lost to miscarriage”. It helped provide a small sense of closure and also helped us to connect with our little one. Granted, I would never hold him, nurse him, or watch him grow; but what I could do was name him. Giving August our last name really connected our family and it is one of the only ways I could mother this child.
  • Almost immediately after finding out we were expecting we started picking names. We had a few boy and girl names that we were really committed to, but when we lost the baby it felt like we’d also lost all of those names. It felt like those names were off-limits for any baby we could potentially have in the future because they belonged to this baby. However, after picking a different name for August, it kinda freed up those names for us to still be able to use in the future should God decide to bless us with another child.

Naming your baby after miscarriage or still birth is a personal choice! Please do not feel pressured to name your baby if you are not comfortable with it, there are other ways for you to acknowledge and honor your child. However, this is something that worked for our family and helps tremendously as we cope with the loss.

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I made a bracelet with his name that I wear all the time. It helps to see his name and have something physical to remind me of his sweet little soul.

Did you name your baby after loss? If so, what name did you choose and how is it significant to you? Feel free to leave comments below and follow me on Instagram @_mylittleangelbaby

 

xoxo,

-N

 

 

 

 

 

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